Grief

Full of grief today.

I went to see the healer (my therapist) and she observed that I was in the grief stage of all of this sex addiction crap. I know it sounds more like anger...

I am grieving so much of this marriage. Grieving the woman I was, the woman who fell in love with him, the woman I turned my back on in order to stay in a marriage that was devastating to me. I am grieving my husband, the man he was, the man I thought he was becoming. I am grieving every single time I have to interact with him as I witness the voluntary self destruction, the self loathing, the narcissism, the emptiness, the coldness, the vacancy.

Sex addiction seems to me to be far more powerful than any other addiction as it truly enables the addict to separate from reality. I witnessed this beast take pieces of my husband each and every day. And each and every day I witnessed my husband welcoming it, inviting it, embracing it.

Yes I agree I am grieving.