Thursday, September 24, 2009

Seriously Bitter

Yep, that is me. Seriously bitter. I hear things about marriage, engagement, love, family and my eyes roll in my head and I swear my head is going to spin off and knock someone out.

I am bitter. I do not believe in any of it at this moment. I don't have to believe in it. If you have found love good for you. Embrace it.

As for me, I believe in me.

I believe in the love I have for my amazing boys and the love they have for me. I believe in my flawed family. I believe in me.

I believe I married a man that has no conscience, I believe I married a man that does not love me and may never have, I believe I married a man that is incapable of putting others first, I no longer believe that he is good underneath all this sickness. He is not good nor does he want to be good.

I believe in me. Someday this divorce will be complete and I will move on. Until then I reserve the right to be bitter, to not even acknowledge love and I will heal.

I believe in me.

1 comment:

  1. Courage--

    Oh sweetheart. I wish I could give you a real life hug. You sound to me like you're in a lot of pain right now.

    Be sad if you must. This is a phase. It will pass. There is happiness waiting for you.

    A little suggestion-- have you read "Broken Open?" I love that book.

    (((C!)))

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