Okay I am Pissed

As I stated in my earlier post my husband has a new girlfriend.

On so many levels this is wrong to me. And I am pissed.

I would like to blame my anger on my need to protect my children and my exhaustion from damage control. However I am pissed for so many reasons.

First of all my husband DB is a sex addict. He disagrees with this. He is positive that I was the problem. Having said that he has had two moments of true honesty with me since I figured out what was going on.

On the first occasion he admitted to not being able to function as a dad and husband. It was too much and he was too weak.

On the second occasion he admitted to having a problem with sexual addiction as far back as childhood. He cited specific examples in his childhood, teenage years and twenties.

He also admitted to feeling a ton of fear as he felt he was escalating. He was now contacting couples and was open to sex with men. Although he maintains he has never had sex with anyone while we were together. He felt like he could actually do it now that I knew. The damage was done so why not.

He admitted many other things but those are some of what I cannot get out of my head.

So here is the deal. He has been seeing this girl or is in what he calls a serious relationship with this girl for four weeks. He has been unemployed for five weeks. She has three children the youngest is two.

Back when I found out what he was doing and what he was willing to do I asked him to leave. I did ask him to get help as well, however I knew nothing would come of it. I did not want to make it work. I did not have the energy, nor the love to go through recovery with him. However I did not realize I really didn't have a choice as recovery was not an option.

So now here he is cured and in love. He couldn't handle the family he actually established how can he handle someone elses children. He put his boys through hell and is fine with allowing them to get close to a woman he has been with for a fucking month.

He spent months fucking with me every chance he got yet he has grown, he has evolved.

Okay I am even pissed at her and I don't even know her. But how the fuck could she allow an unemployed, married, father of two that she has know for a month around her babies. Oh my god that just sends me into a rage.

Honestly, I don't even like him around my children imagine what kind of damage she will do.

Seriously, this is just such a fucked up situation.

I keep wanting to call him and ask him questions, argue or whatever but I don't because it is not worth it, he is not worth it. I just have to stand strong and protect my boys.

Truly, this woman who clearly has no self respect will go away hopefully before too much damage is done and then there will be a new one. Although he is pretty good about keeping the lie alive around seven years. He is escalating though so it may take less. I just hope between the two of them they only hurt each other and not the kids, all five of them. :)