Honor

I had the honor of taking care of an incredibly kind and gentle man for the last nine months.

He has lived in a bed for the last year and 13 days. His breaths were supported through a machine that would help his lungs inflate and even breathe for him when he couldn't.

His nutrition came from a tube in his stomach.

He had not walked for a year and 13 days.

He left his room with nurses only a few times in that year and 13 days.

His wife was unable to visit as she was living in a long term care facility.

His family rarely came.

They were both in their 50's.

He could not talk.

He could not write as his hands were contracting from lack of use.

He rarely had the energy to do his exercises.

I learned how to be a nurse with him.

I took care of him often.

He had this amazing smile and his adorable laugh made the world go round.

In the year and 13 days he never complained.

He never snapped at us.

He rarely asked for much.

He went through a new team of eager young doctors and students every month.

He allowed new nurses to learn skills on him.

He once and only once told me he wanted to eat.

He held on.

He did not want to die.

He fought and battled.

A battle all of us knew he would never win.

We fought for him.

We fought the doctors, the system even other nurses for him.

We rallied around him and we were his voice.

We loved him.

Last week he decided he was done. He no longer wanted to fight.

Today I had the honor of touching that beautiful face of his and watching him take his last breath.

The honor to see his family all together.

To know that he did not die alone.

To know that I got to thank him for all that he did for me.

I am so honored to be a part of his life and death.