Sunday, August 1, 2010

Alone?

I felt incredibly alone yesterday. I woke this morning feeling alone. I journaled this morning the old school way with pen to paper. I sat in silence, I felt my feelings, I sat in silence, I listened. I journaled more. I cried and cried.

I had an interesting thought. Not a new one but interesting. I have always been of the belief that being in an unhealthy relationship is far more lonely. However, I questioned if I had more fear, less security now that I am single and raising my babies alone. I saw DB with a shovel throwing dirt behind him, he was relaxed and did not appear to be exerting himself.

He was digging us deeper and deeper into the mess we were creating and he was fine.

This is why I do not fear more today. This is why I am more secure.