My children stayed with the SAH last night. I slept in and got my hair done. I went to the store and realized that I was feeling joy and it must be evident as I was getting alot of attention. I used to get attention all the time when I was thin however I thought those days were over. I realized today that it is more to do with my attitude than my weight.
The joy I felt was such a relief. I am working hard on checking my motives, not running, keeping track of my feelings by acknowledging them and attempting to feel them. I am sticking to my boundaries with SAH. We have not spoken about anything other than the kids. I have had a few nice thoughts of him and for him lately, coupled with anger and hate. I am okay with that. I am just really trying to be in this moment. To breathe. To accept me. To love me. To be kind to me.
We are the Gatherers.....
9 months ago
Hello Courage!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to stop by and let you know that if you ever need to talk, vent, or anything, you can always feel free to email me.
I know the feeling of having your whole world fall apart right before your eyes. Though, I couldn’t imagine having to experience it with two little ones to take care of as well. I’m glad to hear that you’re taking care of yourself. Just remember this emotional rollercoaster ride is treacherous. One day, you feel like you can tackle whatever comes your way, the next day you can barely get out of bed (or at least that’s how it was for me). I agree with Bernadine, see if you can find a 12-step group in your area. I know the idea of 12-step can be hard one to swallow, but it really was the best decision I made. It will be a long a journey (and I’m so sorry you have to go through this), but just know that you are NOT ALONE. You have a network of support available whenever you’re in need.
(((BIG HUGS)).
~Enigma