I am an angry person, dark, sarcastic and I love truth. No matter how ugly it is I love truth.
I have focused on much of my anger here.
I feel the need to put it out there so that it is never misunderstood. I am devastated by what has happened to my family. I have been completely and totally ripped apart by my husband.
While I was extremely unhappy in our marriage and was unwilling to be honest with myself about that, I never deserved all of this.
The humiliation, the fears, the unanswered questions, the lies, the rage, the avoidance, the craziness, the doubts, the insecurities.
All of it has turned me inside out. He has turned me inside out. He has torn apart my children first with the rage and avoidance while he lived here, leaving and then putting me through so much shit on a daily basis during this ugly divorce. They have watched him rip me apart over and over again.
I have told him in the past that I believe he is broken. I know it is cruel but he is broken. Anyone that would do all of this to his family is broken. He chooses to not fix himself.
We are the Gatherers.....
9 months ago
I agree. He's so broken he can't see what he's losing. It's such a tragedy.
ReplyDeleteYou won't always feel so broken. I know you know this but I just wanted to say--Someday, life will be good. And this will be one of the experiences that makes you the even more fabulous person you will become.
I hope you are right, it is so hard to believe right now. I think I was close until he lost his job and now he is killing me financially. I am so angry about that.
ReplyDeleteI hope you know how grateful I am for you. :)
Tell me, does the crazy making, gaslighting ever stop bothering you?
Ah, that's so nice, thanks!
ReplyDeletePersonally I'm still in crazy stage, but yeah, I think it stops. Once the ties are as cut as they can be-- I think it stops. For me, I've experienced some relief and distance, just by having him out of the house. I'll be really happy to see that distance grow.
I hear you on the financial stuff-- my husband is doing the same. I think it's about the total spiral out of reality, in every way. Grr.